After All Those Years
by LadyTi
Summary: Minerva McGonagall finally makes up her mind to talk to her love. She is convinced to do so by the maybe most unlikely person within Hogwarts to talk about feelings and love.
1. Midnight Encounter

Disclaimer: All the characters of this story belong to the wonderful J.K.Rowling, I don't own anything of this, and I don't want to make any profit with it.  
  
After All Those Years  
  
Chapter 1 - Midnight Encounter  
  
Minerva McGonagall stared at the ceiling of her bedroom.  
  
Although it was only half past eleven, she knew that she, again, wouldn't find rest this night. Heavily she got up and put on her tartan dressing gown.  
  
This was getting ridiculous she thought sadly. Always the same thoughts which were completely in vain and she couldn't get them out of her head.  
  
She went over to her desk. Maybe correcting a few essays would chase the thoughts out of her head for this night.  
  
However, after she had tried for a couple of minutes to understand what this child wanted to tell her in her essay, she gave up and decided to wander the castle for a while.  
  
Quietly she passed through the dark corridors. Her sorrows were near suffocating her and she couldn't even walk in her normal stern and rigid manner but she didn't care. Nobody would see her like this. Nobody knew and nobody could help her.  
  
Silently she entered the dimly lit teachers lounge and went over to her favourite armchair in the corner. She fell into it and felt tears streaming down her cheeks that very moment. The last remains of her defensive barrier shattered and sobbing and shivering she sat curled up in the chair and didn't know what to make of the world.  
  
After a while she became still again, but the pain was only increased by this outburst. Suddenly a cold voice spoke out of the shadows. "Well Minerva, I didn't expect a drama at such a late hour, I just came here as a change to my cold dungeons, but expected or not, it was highly amusing, no doubt."  
  
Minerva jumped and cried "Severus, how.how dare you! S.neaking around at n.night without." She stopped as she was on the verge of tears again and could barely control herself. Of all evil in the world, why Snape? That stupid old morose git, how would she stand the humiliation?  
  
"My dear Minerva, I haven't been sneaking around, I merely sat here." The mocking tone of his voice made her wanting to curse him on the spot.  
  
Heatedly she said "Fine Snape, congratulations, you finally got me. There, you've seen me all weak and messed up, are you contented now? Are you already planning of how to profit from your knowledge! Humiliating me in front of the students? That would be quite your style, you seem to live from other people's misfortunes and disgraces. You never miss a chance to make someone's life hell, do you? You aren't even worth to be looked at by any decent person, you are just a morose, old, miserable bat. I never figured why Dumbledore makes such a fuss about you."  
  
Still fuming she broke off and glared into the direction she thought Snape to be sitting. "And as for not making clear that you weren't alone, which is what I think you wanted to accuse me of before you started to.I didn't dare to."  
  
His voice sounded strange, in fact Minerva had never heard him talking like this before. It took her a few seconds to realise that it was real concern in his voice, something she hadn't thought Snape capable of.  
  
Interesting new way of making fun of her, she thought. Aloud she said rather confused "You didn't dare to what, Snape?".  
  
Politely and very qietly he said "To interrupt you in your obvious sorrow. I thought it inappropriate as you were so grieved about something. As for the latter of your assumptions of my way of dealing with this encounter, I am sorry, Minerva."  
  
Something was wrong here, she just knew it. Besides the fact that Snape had witnessed her crying her soul out, that was. His whole behaviour didn't seem right. She felt her anger being pushed by side by curiosity. "I didn't get this, what are you sorry for?"  
  
There was a short pause and then he said in that same polite tone "I am sorry that I gave you a reason to assume that I would use your weakness against you in such a mean way. My behaviour must indeed have been terrible if that is your picture of me."  
  
Puzzled by his unusual openness she said "Well, watching you every day, one gets such an impression of you."  
  
A longer pause followed and then a candle was lit. Snape was sitting on a sofa, wearing a black dressing gown. He looked shrunken and miserable, but not in his usual evil manner. Minerva observed him closely. Despite her anger she had to pity him. He was so downtrodden and his eyes were sad. She had never seen him like this before.  
  
He looked at her, his black eyes almost fearful. "Look Minerva, please let me tell you something. Only listen, despite how much you loathe me. I think I know why you were crying and not finding sleep and. and all this. I think it is because you are in love with someone of whom you think that he doesn't love you, too. Because you don't want to risk your friendship, which is very valuable to you both, you have never shown him your feelings. For decades you haven't said a word, only beause you don't want to lose him."  
  
Minerva's eyes widened at his words which had become softer and livelier the longer he had spoken. Her mind was reeling. How was it possible that he knew? Severus Snape who had always appeared as a piece of rock.  
  
"How.how do you know that? And why do you talk to me about that? That is none of your business and you never care of others."  
  
He had looked to the ground but now he looked into her eyes again.  
  
"That is sort of complicated. I know, because I saw behind your mask now and again. You are aways the stern, impenetrable old Professor McGonagall, you seem proud of your ability of not showing any feelings. But then, I think you are very emotional. It's in your eyes. Sometimes, when you can't conceile it and you think nobody is watching you, you look at your students with such a strong love. And that is how I found out about your other love. It's in your eyes as well. I wonder why he has never seen it, too. It would have been all easier for you two."  
  
Minerva was simply lost for words. Was that Severus Snape who had said this? Suspiciously she asked "I don't think you are in the position to talk to me about feelings and love, as you don't know anything about that yourself. And what do you mean by saying it would have been easier for the two of us. He doesn't love me, and Albus never had a problem in this regard."  
  
Yes, she thought, Albus Dumledore only saw her as a good friend, without knowing how it tormented her.  
  
"I don't know where to start at this. I can tell you one thing even when it might come as a shock for you. Albus loves you. He has loved you for years. He is as miserable and sad as you are. He never told me, he never told anyone I suppose, but he too has it written in his face. The way he treats you and looks at you, so loving and cautious. Why haven't you seen it, it was kind of obvious."  
  
She felt anger erupting in her again, why did he say such things, they were confusing and impossible.  
  
"Stop telling me this ridiculous nonsense. You really can't know about such things. Besides, as I said earlier, they are personal."  
  
"Well, I don't have a choice I suppose. Please Minerva. I only want one thing. I want my two best friends, namely you and Albus, to do what they should have done long ago. I want you to realize that you are meant to be together. Every day I see how desperate you two are, but you both don't realize the love of the other one. When I talk about love, which I do seldom in public, I know what I am talking about as.as.well, ok, as I am married myself to a wife which I love beyond my own life."  
  
Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction, and English isn't my motherlanguage, so please understand my mistakes. Please review to tell me what you think of my story, critics are very welcome. 


	2. The Other Side

Chapter 2 - The Other Side  
  
The silence which followed this speech seemed earsplitting.  
  
Minerva didn't believe her ears. Increduosly she looked at the man opposite her. He looked as if his last revelation had caused him much pain.  
  
Tentatively she asked "I. I didn't get that, did you say you were married? You must be joking, Severus. If you were married I would know that!"  
  
"No, I'm not joking, I'm far from that. We kept it secret, for various reasons. I am only telling you, because I want to help two people who deserve it." "But who Severus, and when and how do you live and why do you keep it quiet. And since when do you consider me a friend of yours?"  
  
For the first time since she knew Severus, a true smile lightened up his features.  
  
With much warmth he told her "I married Elly Carriock seven years ago. We decided to keep our marriage secret because of my past as a Death Eater for one thing. The Dark Lord could use her against me. Secondly because of her position as an auror at the Ministry. It wouldn't fit an auror to be married to an ex-Death Eater. Elly lives in London. I visit her every weekend, as well as during holidays. Almost every evening we talk via an illegal Floo-Line. This arrangement is not exactly perfect, we aren't happy about it but it's the only possibility."  
  
The smile still lingered his face as he looked at her.  
  
"That's completely weird, you could have told Albus, it would have been much easier for you without that secrecy here at Hogwarts. I know Elly, she is one of the most gifted aurors and a friend of Nymphadora Tonks. I still can't believe it, I have to admitt, I never thought you capable of even a nice word. No. But you still didn't answer my question, since when and why do you consider me a friend? You never showed me. You should have though."  
  
Severus's smile faded and his voice sounded weary this time "I considered you a friend ever since I turned spy for Albus. You knew about my past, but unlike many others you never made my life hell. You were polite as ever and you never dropped any snide remarks. You didn't even show me loathing after so many years of being just. well, my old miserable self, meaning being rude to you on every possible occasion. You acted nearly as Dumbledore did. I couldn't show you, because I feared that you just hated me but restrained yourself from showing it. A friend in one's mind is better than no friend at all. The same with Albus. It's exactly what you two did over all those years, isn't it?"  
  
Minerva sighed and nodded. "I still can't believe all this. But why."  
  
He interrupted her. "No, this conversation isn't about me. It's about you and Albus. I only told you all this about me to make you believe my word. Albus loves you, be sure of that. With that knowledge you should be able to solve your problems."  
  
Minerva again had tears in her eyes, but this time not from despair. She looked at the Grandfather Clock and smiled  
  
"Well, I think I shall follow your proposition. I don't know how, but I will."  
  
With that she rose from her armchair. Severus stood up, too.  
  
Again smiling he said "I'm exeptionally glad to hear that Minerva. All the best for you. And please, don't tell anybody."  
  
She returned the smile "Of course not. I can only thank you for your trust."  
  
She went forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then she turned and headed for the door. Suddely she stopped, turned round and said "And sorry for the things I said earlier, I guess it was all due to the shock you gave me. Sorry."  
  
He gazed at her. "Don't you apologize, you were right in everything you said. But that's another topic. Now, you've got something to do, haven't you?"  
  
She grinned awkwardly and went out into the cold corridor.  
  
Author's Note: Please keep reviewing. ( 


	3. After All Those Years

Capter 3 - After all Those Years  
  
She walked through the silent castle, but it felt completely different from the last time.  
  
Although she hadn't faced Albus yet, she felt the world had changed, simply from the knowledge she had gained in the conversation with Severus.  
  
Lightly she entered her private chambers and sat down by the fire to rethink the whole thing. It was half past twelve, a time where Albus normally was still up reading. Should it now be the time be come to make it all up, to dare what she had dreaded for decades? After all those years?  
  
Why by the way did she believe in the stories of a man which had contradicted her on every possible occasion so far, she asked herself. For a moment she thought about it, but then she knew why.  
  
Besides the fact that Severus' emotions had seemed genuine he had never ever lied to her. He had said plainly what he thought. By lying he would risk Albus' trust. He spoke the truth.  
  
Minerva went over to her mirror and loosened the hairnet that held her dark hair back. With one swirl, the shiny dark locks fell down, almost to her waist.  
  
She studied the woman in the mirror and smiled. Strange, she thought.  
  
A seventy years old woman, still relatively good-looking, just about to confess her love to an old friend. Strange indeed, after all those years.  
  
She cast a last glance into the mirror which returned a rather reassuring one to her and with that she left her chambers, not able to think of anything at all. She didn't even know what to say to him, although she had had so much time think about that.  
  
Again she stood in the cold empty corridor, but this time she ran.  
  
In no time she stood in front of the stone-gargoyle and muttered the password 'canary cream'. She stepped onto the staircase which liftet her to the oaken door of Albus' office. She took a deep breath and knocked.  
  
There was a moments pause and then the door was opened. Albus was in a dressing gown and looked at her in deep concern, somewhat alarmed. Minerva's heart sank, he obviously wasn't pleased to see her in the middle of the night.  
  
Gingerly she said "Good evening Albus"  
  
He motioned her inside and said "What is it Minerva, did something strange happen, please." She was immensely relieved as she heard this, she was only worried because he thought her appearance in connection with some strange incident.  
  
Once again, she cursed herself for not being prepared for this. "No, it's yes, something happened, but n.nothing to worry about.that's at least what I think." She smiled sheepishly.  
  
Albus face softened and he took her arm to lead her through the door to his living room. She seldom had been here, only once or twice. It was a beautiful room with lovely yet mismatched furniture, old tapestries, and hundreds of ancient books lined up in shelves. He tried to make her sit down, but she refused.  
  
"Thanks Albus, but I would rather.rather say the things I have to say standing."  
  
He studied her face, his eyes analyzing every line on the face he had known for so long a time. She couldn't tell from his eyes, what he was thinking, but a smile lingered his mouth. A loving smile she thought suddenly. Why had she never realised that?  
  
Softly he spoke "Well then Minerva, why do you seek me in the middle of the night, and looking rather not like yourself." He followed her hair down to her waist, his eyes twinkling this time.  
  
"I don't know how to put it Albus." Fear fought it's way up and she made to the door, desperate about her stupidity. She should never have come here.  
  
Strong hands gripped her at the shoulders and she was turned around.  
  
She stared at him, tears in her eyes. Then something strange happened.  
  
Albus expression changed rapidly from concern to panicked bewilderment. He released her shoulders and took a step backwards.  
  
She too was confused by his behaviour. Just to break the silence she said "Sorry, I didn't mean to.to.whatever."  
  
He still hadn't lifted his gaze from her. Slowly he opend his mouth and said in a sad voice "Tell me Minerva, for how long?"  
  
"Sorry? What do you mean?" "For how long did you conceile your feelings? For.for me?"  
  
She only could reply "Ever since I came back to Hogwarts after I graduated." He seemed to come to life. He went forward and took her hands.  
  
Gravely he said "How can you ever forgive me. I alwys thought you deserved better than me. Than the old bighead I have ever been. Therefore I never showed you.  
  
Minerva, I love you. How can I forgive myslef to cause you all this pain?"  
  
She wasn't fit to answer, she just put her lips to his and kissed him.  
  
He replied it tendely, tentatively, but as she drew her hands to his ceeks, the kiss became more passionate and he laid his hands on her waist, stroking her softly.  
  
Shivers of pleasure mingled with the feeling that this was what it was meant to be.  
  
She drew away from his lips and murmured "Never you mind Albus, never you mind, it seems as if we are at last getting somewhere. After all those years."  
  
The End Author's Note: So that's it, my very first fanfiction. Please tell me what you think, emails also welcome for instructions etc. Thanks for reading and thanks to all Reviewers.  
  
So long Lady Ti 


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